Praises be to whom all praise be, we humbly seek your utmost mercy
Yes-yes-ya’ll. You read it right. The purpose of this blog aint just about keeping you up-to-date with the latest ticks and tocks in the block, we aim to equip u guys with education on our recently discovered gossip, and yeah, if people are mixing up the swine flu epidemic with the story about the relative who just got married but only few people attended it, and on top of that its at the dinner table?!
Its definitely GOSSIP!
As most of you may have heard about it in the news, read it in the newspapers, talked about it, made disgusting pig noises whilst joking about it, it aint a joke no more fellas. If any of you ever saw the movie BABE and said to yourselves awwwwww what a cute little pinky piggy with those cute little piggy tail, watch the flick once more. See if similar feelings also come up.
Anyway, allow me to skip the bla-bla part… here are 5 of the must-knows about the disease that’s taking our Brunei by storm. If you read about it somewhere, well… we’re just here to lend a helping hand.
1.Home Sweet Home
Lemme take u back to the priceless memories when you used to just count the days of going back to your country, buy gifts for your families back home, as if the 10th consecutive time you bring them a present aint enough. Haven’t they heard of ebay? Or how about the time you surprised your parents by telling them that ur going back tomorrow when really ur already in the car with ur brother. Well… be prepared to not repeat those amazing histories again, thanks to the swine flu. Damn the disease! (excuse my French). Now I gotta go back and kiss my mamas cheek with a freakin doctors mask on. They’ve actually managed, without a single break of sweat, tainted the phrase home sweet home to a whole other level that’s not even sweet, and not even homey. Oh well, at least its gonna keep the Bruneians mamas out of Malaysia for a while… IKEA had enough don’t u think. Frankly, I gotta say that Bruneians are responsible for 50% of IKEA’s profit. Can they at least give special discounts to these yellow ic’s?? how the heck that every Bruneian owns a little piece of IKEA items? You’d be in an almost torn down place right, even the door creaks when u enter, chairs are already wiggly, then they gently sit u down to eat, u grab the spoon then BAM! IKEA spoons.
2. Veil Yoursleves!!
There was once a time when a hijab-wearing muslim lady (and I mean full-on covered… ehhhh! purdah bah purdah), who would walk down BB street, and strangers, who would throw the pitiful woman funny looks as if Halloween came early this year and expressions on their faces could only be translated into words as: why would u put on a blanket in an oven?? But now, everyone is starting to join in the hippest trend yet, I bet Vogue wont cover that one. If theres any group of women who I dare say are going to be immune by this so-called flu, its them Ninjas! Respect!
3. It’s a race!
Is it just me or are the news that are covering these flu stories makes it look like we’re in the race or something. I’ll show u what I mean. Here’s a sneak-peek at what im babbling about, taken from the Brunei Times.
• WHO says confirmed cases of H1N1 flu top 1,000 mark
• 7 new cases confirmed
• 91 confirmed flu cases in US
• Four new H1N1 cases in Saudi
• HK lists 65 new H1N1 cases
Doesn’t that sound like it’s a race? Can someone confirm that the Beijing Olympics are over? I know they’re there to inform us, but come on guys, cant u at least pick some decent words that flow with the tragedy and not get me excited on false hope here. Im sitting in my room reading this and the only thought that goes thru my mind is “are we winning? Oh wait…”
4.Moonwalk the pig
Another thing that bugs the very core of me is that the news about the swine flu came to an abrupt halt when a so-called legend, no offense to the king of whatever they name him, well… died. Why in the mother-naturing heck does it only takes one entertainer to make the entire world stop and pause. No doubt, one of the greatest, he made thrilla maaan, but some of us are actually scared to death here. Are we suppose to just moonwalk past the disease? The weird thing is that before the death, no one even talked about him, not even a Mike or a Jack pass thru peoples lips, but now freakin dummies that didn’t even experience thriller are paying tribute to the late singer, rubbing their noses in his shoes, like they had something to do with his success. Radio stations are dedicating a whole day just to play his music, like he’s gonna realize it, disturbing my beloved news for his funeral, I mean billy jean aint gonna sound so good when ur in the hospital with glass walls all around u.
5. Astro no mo’
Well, im happy to inform you Malaysia, that Brunei no longer require your freakin Astro. Yes I said it! In your face Malaysia!! I’ll take that back when the time is right. Why don’t we need Astro no mo’? Coz BRUNEI TV never looked this sexy baby. I think RTB should make Bruneians subscribe to the news at times like these, showcase it as box office. That’ll be great, might as well make a profit out of other peoples misery right? nadawah. Well… anyway
Be yourself, but wear a mask! LoL
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